In Which Kanga Makes a List

Having just returned from a six-day trip East with J, I have developed a short list of recommended dos and don'ts based on my minor mishaps and tiny victories along the way. Of course, as always, your mileage may vary.

1. More toys, fewer clothes. Really...FEWER CLOTHES. God has invented these wonderful things called washing machines, and unless you are staying with Dwight Schrute, your hosts have one.

2. Did I mention more toys? And books. Airplanes are boring, boring places, and being strapped in (backwards!) within a car seat would drive anyone to distraction. More. Brand. New. Toys and books.

3. Resist the temptation to fill your child with food to stave off crying jags mid-flight. Although this wasn't a chronic issue on the trip, I did discover to my dismay that J has a nervous stomach when traveling.

4. Prepackaged dried formula in the foil tubes = rock. Easy to pack, easy to prepare. Sold at Babies R Us, and no doubt a number of other fine establishments.

5. Despite the inherent wastefulness of the packaging, consider bottled water for preparing baby's formula when traveling. Though I don't remember it this way as a child, the tap water in Eastern Pennsylvania is downright undrinkable, and I ended up heading to CVS for bottled water to mix up J's meals.

6. Think your baby bucket / carseat doesn't hang easily off the handle of your stroller? I bet it does. (I discovered this two minutes before my final flight. I am sometimes slow on the uptake.)

7. Never underestimate the value other children bring to your baby's happiness when traveling. J really did well when other kids were in the house...they provided a familiar environment, and allowed her to take a break from the constant being-passed-around-by-strange-adults experience.

8. Apologize in advance -- sincerely -- for the havoc your child will wreak on a flight. It endears you to other travelers, and they may even pitch in and make funny faces at the baby during the trip. No one gave me a hard time, not even a dirty look, despite a ten-minute crying episode on one flight and nearly two hours of freakout on another.

9. This may seem obvious. Get down on your hands and knees, just like at home lo these many months ago, and baby-proof the house you are in. If you like, do it room-by-room, so as not to overwhelm yourself (and especially since we found we were mainly in the kitchen and the guest bedroom). It is AMAZING what people have in their homes. I just returned from a stay in a post-Revolution-era farmhouse with (1) a metal typewriter perched on a pedestal; (2) glass jars resting on wooden stools; and (3) best of all, a collection of sharpened farm and garage implements HANGING ON THE WALL.

10. Though others will, with the best of intentions, attempt to pack your schedule with new and interesting activities for baby, again resist the temptation to introduce your child to too many new things when underway. The town's Halloween parade (she would have been dressed as a clown, which was a dealbreaker anyway), the Please Touch Museum (first week reopened, on a rainy Sunday...noooooo), the Philadelphia Art Museum and the Reading Terminal Market were all carefully turned down, in favor of having J spend quality time with her 88-year-old great-aunt and have a play date with two three-year-old friends. My relatives now think I'm an overprotective bore, but I know I did the right thing for my noise-sensitive, easily startled child.

Traveling is hard enough for an adult when things go wrong. Though they may piss you off or even make you cry, you have resources, tools, and the larger understanding of WHY they happen. Children are just victims, whisked along in the experience without explanation or context. Keep that in mind, and it may help you feel a twinge of empathy next time for the kid in 22-F who won't stop screaming.