Monday, June 2, 2008

In Which All Characters Confer Regarding Geography (Part I of an ongoing series)

(With apologies to Matt Ruff's Set This House in Order)

Rabbit: I am glad you all could make it. We are here to discuss the relative merits of moving.

Piglet: Eep! Why do we have to move?

Owl: Piglet, nobody said we HAVE to move. It's just that G and her husband and Little J might WANT to move.

Piglet: (knitted eyebrows)

Owl: Well, I shall speak first. As a design librarian, I find myself torn...

Piglet: Eep! (again)

Owl: Ahem!...torn, that is, in the figurative sense. I have an excellent set of opportunities at my current position. I enjoy my co-workers immensely, and am getting exposure to many different work scenarios that will serve me well down the road.

However (other woodland creatures begin fiddling with their paws, talons or toes), there is a hefty amount of corporate fog building at my company, and it might just be easier to go to a firm that has already addressed and solved the problems that my company is just now experiencing for the first time. It is, in a word...

Pooh: (under his breath) Exhausting.

Owl: Yes! That's it exactly. Astute and helpful bear.

Pooh: (grumbles) Astute? I'm trying to lose weight. It just takes a while.

Piglet: (timidly) Well, I don't know why anyone would want to leave the town that G, J and her husband are in. It's beautiful, clean, safe, liberal and not too expensive.

Christopher Robin: It IS across the country from their families.

Eeyore: (arches eyebrow, then thinks better of it and just grimaces)

Christopher Robin: And it does have a 140-day school year. That seems...short.

Kanga: I certainly agree. I for one can't imagine letting Roo attend school in places with no art, gym, music classes or...(trailing off) libraries.

Christopher Robin: Then we are agreed that it is a Puzzle?

Pooh: It certainly is. A Puzzle of Great Consequence.

Rabbit: And, as it is of Great Consequence, it certainly will require nourishment to solve. I recommend we break for carrots, or the sustenance of each creature's choice.

(Agreed.)

(To be continued.)